Broken

I went out last night with Amy. It was like some force of the universe said "Madzillah needs to say good-bye to THESE people..." There were people I had forgotten, people I thought I would never see again....It was not as awful as I had thought it would be--meeting people from the past. It wasn't awful at all. I had fun.

I ran into a boy. I'll call him Pan. We met Pan in our mid-20's. He was 14. He showed up at our house, trashed, while we were having a party. He passed out in the lawn where some dumb-ass thought it would be funny to piss on him.

This is where you see that Amy is truly a better person than me. I was mad that we had a drunk 14 yr old at our house. I was worried that he was going to get us in trouble, and I just wanted him GONE GONE GONE. Amy took poor Pan in and convinced me to help her shower him (clothes and all.)

Well, we ended up taking him and his older brother in, in general. His mom was even more fucked up than us, and didn't mind them practically living with us. I never heard about a dad, but BOY o BOY did I hear about another brother (and uncle? don't remember...) He was broken, and we collected broken things, hoping we could help restore them.

Well, there was a point that for my own sanity, etc. I had to completely turn away from everyone. I heard about Pan over the years; I really worried about what I heard. I wondered when I would hear he was gone.

I'm happy to say that he's not. He's been through it. He may not be all the way through it. BUT, he hasn't been in legal trouble since he was 17. He is a jack of all trades, and a roaming soul. He's looking for a home that I'm not sure he even wants to find. He's seeking approval from anyone who will love him. I gave it happily. I told him how handsome he is, how proud I am of him, and how happy I was to see him. I wish I could help him more.