Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Energy is ALWAYS conserved

I've been having a hard time with faith. I have none. I grew up with HEAVY, hand waving, just short of snake handlin' religion and hated it. Science is better. Hard, Concrete. Sure, there may always be another question raised by the one you just answered, but there are rules to be followed and always tangible PROOF. Religion has no proof--only faith. That leaves me with no PROOF and unanswerable questions. I have no faith.

So from a nursing background and a science degree, I have been contemplating life, death, God, and souls. During the nursing days I saw living bodies lacking the soul (if that is what you call that spark that makes the SELF), illness, death and everything in between. There IS something there that is not explained by the simple elemental construction. Between death and life, nothing elemental changes. The only real change that I can be sure of is that there were chemical changes happening and then they stopped. Neurons stopped firing, blood stopped pumping. The electricity that was a human ceases. That spark leaves. Most religious people tells us that this is the soul and it goes somewhere blissful (or not) for eternity. Some people say that nope, this is the end.

So, I've been struggling. I have no faith and I'm confused and unhappy.

My wonderful husband who has faith saw this. He hurts when I hurt. He also knows intimately how much I question the world--being driven nuts daily by me questioning everything. He knows what stock I put in science. That I have a driving need to have proof --and things put in a context that makes sense. Logical, sane order.
He helped me make some sense out of madness by reminding me of one simple key scientific concept: energy is ALWAYS conserved. That spark--and I do believe in that--is going to go somewhere else. Just like the elements that had made up our bodies will be remade into something else.
Being reminded of concept in this way brought much comfort. It was sane, it was logical. Certainly I don't know where that spark goes, but that IS what I like about science: each answer brings new questions. I may someday find out that answer.

Energy is ALWAYS conserved.